Tuesday, November 9, 2010

'LeDouche-cison' Moves to the Top of My Sports Heartbreak


As a life-long Cleveland Cavaliers fan, needless to say ‘LeDouche-cision was one of the worst moments of my sports-life. As the hometown hero sat face to face with Jim Gray and decided to take his skills to “South Beach” and join Dwayne Wade and that coward Chris Bosh. It was inevitable wasn’t it? I mean we’re dealing with the biggest star in the most tortured sports city of all time – there should have never been any doubt at all what was going to happen. Obviously this moment has skyrocketed to the most disappointing and heartbreaking moments of my sports-life.

This whole thing got me thinking about some of the big disappointments that I have had to endure as a sports fan. So of course like all other red-blooded young American, who lives in a VHI-world, I decided to countdown my Top Ten Biggest Sports Heartbreaks prior to “LeDouche-cison.”

10. Orange Crushing – This is fresh on my mind as it was the last Cuse Basketball game I have seen. For the first time in school history the Orangemen (not the Orange!) earned a #1 seed. But the loss of big man Arinze Onuaku put a strain on their suffocating 2-3. The offense was limited and in the end Gordon Hayward and the Bulldogs were just too much. I was so pissed and couldn’t look the idiot decked out in Butler gear in the face. At least they lost to the eventual runners-up…but to make matters worse Master Rat and his Dukies won the title. It was an awful joke.

9. Gator Bait – They seemed like the dominating team coming off of a big win over #2 Michigan in their season finale; and when Ted Ginn ran back the opening kickoff there were dog-piles and shouts of, “It’s Over!” at my buddy’s house. 3 hours later our tails were between our legs after a humiliating score flipping of 41-14, an embarrassing Buckeye loss to Florida in the ’07 BCS Title Game. The Heisman winner Troy Smith was covered in Gators all game and by the time the 3rd quarter came I was stuck doing sudoku on the couch.

8. Socked Again! – One game from the World Series. One freaking game! Up 3-1 in the ’07 ALCS the Tribe had a shot to go back to the series at home, but Josh Beckett channeled his inner Josh Beckett. After losing a pitching duel it was back to Fenway where I just knew the inevitable was going to happen. And it did. A D.L. (Disabled List) Drew grand slam in game seven was basically the final nail in the coffin of the Indians, while the awful Colorado Rockies were waiting to be the NL’s sacrificial lamb. Now, with Pronk off the juice and 2 Cy Young winners traded, it is seller dwelling again at the Jake.

7. Love It or Leave It…Left – Oakland Hills in suburban Detroit is a historic venue. It has hosted Ryder Cups, PGA Championships, US Amateur and most notably for me the 1996 US Open. It was quite a week for Davis Love III. After negotiating 70 holes at 3-under par he was a one shot leader on the course over unknown commodity Steve Jones. But it all came crashing down. After a bogey on the difficult par 3 17th, DL3 found the green 20 feet away on 18. After leaving his downhill par putt three feet short he did the unthinkable and missed the par putt as it died on the left side of the hole. Jones cashed in. Devastating!

6. Coopers biggest Cooper Job – 1998 was OSU’s best team in the John Cooper era. They entered their November 7th tilt at home against Michigan State at a perfect 8-0, cruising through the Big 10 and big wins against West Virginia and Missouri. Sparty played inspired football that afternoon and held the Buckeye high-powered offense to a season low 24 points enroute to a 28-24 upset. Ohio State was seen by many as the best team in football, but was kept out of the first BCS title game because of this loss. The Bucks went on to beat Michigan but were exiled to the Sugar Bowl because a 3-way tie in the Big 10 sent Wisconsin to Pasadena.

5. Catamounted With Threes – Only two years after Carmelo and the boys raised the banner in New Orleans the ’05 Orangemen were poised for a run as a 4th seed. The first “test” was the 13th seeded Vermont Catamounts. When the game came on CBS and I heard Gus Johnson’s voice, I should’ve seen the bad omen. Most of the action was nip and tuck through the first and second halves and I was just waiting for that Orangemen run. But every time they got something going, the Cats would drill a deep three or get a rebound. Although it is one of my favorite calls it still haunts me to this day, “Sorrentine., OHH! He hit that from the parking lot!” At least Kansas lost to Bucknell that same night, haha!

4. Poof! Magically Gone From the Playoffs – I had never been more excited for the NBA playoffs than ’09. The Cavs entered the post season as the #1 team in he Eastern Conference and blew through the first two rounds in sweeps. The defending NBA champs the Celtics were knocked out in an ultra rough and tough series with the Magic. Although hammered from ‘LeBombs’ I still will never forget the last second three the King hit to win Game 1. But the Cavs worried to much about ‘Superman’ Howard and let Mickael Pitrus and Skip-To-My-Lou shoot damn near 80% from downtown and bowed out 4-2 in the series.

3. Say It Aint So Barry – I can only remember one time crying over one of my sports teams. A few weeks after my high school graduation in July of ’99 my all-time favorite football player Barry Sanders announced his retirement from the game after only 10 seasons. One would think growing up a Lions fan I would get used to disappointment and anguish. The ‘funny’ thing about the whole situation is that this losing culture and mindset from the organization wore on Barry and led to his retirement. I will never forget the tears that rolled down my face that day.

2. Mesa Me Sick – The ’97 Tribe was one of the best teams in Cleveland history…in any sport. Thome, Ramirez, Belle, Visquel, Alomar, Grissom, Williams, and Justice. Just so much talent and so many wins, not to mention the door-slammer on the back end. But I will mention stud closer Jose Mesa who blew the save with 2 outs in the 9th inning of game 7, one which was eventually lost in extra innings on an Edgar Renteria single up the middle. It was even worse for me because my favorite Tribesman of all time, starter Charlie Nagy, took the loss in relief.

1. Two Words…The Shot – These two words are as synonymous with Cleveland sports as The Fumble or The Drive. Thankfully for me I am not a big Browns fan so I can toss out those two statements; but The Shot, stings me harder then anything I can remember. The ’89 Cavs were poised for an NBA Championship. Price, Daugherty, Nance, Ehlo, Harper, Hot Rod, and company was one of greatest collection of talent that side of the ’97 Tribe. In game 5 with the series tied at 2-2 and the Cavs leading Jordan hit one of the most recognizable shots over the outstretched arm of Craig ‘Jordan’s Bitch’ Ehlo. The snapshot that defines Cleveland sports is Jordan’s celebration in front of the cowering Ehlo in the floor.

Just wait world…one of these days Cleveland will do it. And when that happens the city will be a smoldering pile of rubble on the edge of Lake Erie. That is, more of a smoldering pile of rubble then it already is!

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