Top Sports Callers of the Decade

Anyone who knows me knows without question I am a sucker for a dramatic sports call. Obviously this whole blog was spawned from my boy Jim Nantz and his cheese whiz covered one-liners. Placing Jim aside, the following are the top 3 sports announcers (aside from Jim of course) that made a dramatic impact in the decade.


3. Dan Hicks – This guy came on really strong as the decade progressed. He was always a solid golf announcer but at the 2008 US Open he went from solid to legendary. As Tiger Woods dropped that 10 footer on the 18th green to force an 18 hole playoff with Rocco Mediate, Hicks was the voice of the moment. As the ball curled around and into the hole and Woods and the crowd were basked in insanity Hicks delivered a line that will no doubt be the sound of that moment when he exclaimed, “Expect anything different!?!”


Only two months later came the 2008 Olympic games and Hicks was on the call of all swimming events with Rowdie Gaines. The Water Cube in Beijing was the venue for the best event of the 08 summer games. The US were underdogs to France in the 4 x 100m freestyle relay. And going into the anchor leg the US was one full body length behind the French, until Jason Lezak did what Rowdie Gaines called the most “incredible relay split ever seen.” And fortunately enough Hicks was there to capture the moment. Lezak began to catch Alain Bernard of France (as Hicks discussed the US securing silver) and then all of a sudden as Lezak made a strong move Hicks screamed, “Here comes Lezak!” In the background Gaines began to yell, “He’s locking, he’s locking up;” in reference to Bernard. And as they touched the wall and the US lit up as number one and new world record; and Phelps, Lezak, Weber-Gale, and Jones were going crazy; Hick’s delivered a message to the French when he bellowed out, “Who’s talking now!”


2. Verne Lundquist – Verne has been a sports voice of a generation on CBS. College Football, Golf, and College Basketball are his forte. My favorite College Football moment with Verne happened in a 2006 game in The Swamp between Florida and LSU. The Gators were at the one yard line ready for Tim Tebow to punch it in when he did something crazy…The Jump Pass. But as Gary Danielson and the Gator faithful were scrambling trying to figure out what was happening, Lundquist was all over it with a quickly stated “Jump pass” as soon as Tebow took one step back. Although in my mind that play hadd’nt been seen since the 1947 Army / Navy game, Lundquist remembers the good old days of football. Classic.


But Lundquist may be best known for arguably the best call in the past 20 years. I usually try to YouTube this clip once a week if I can find the time. Tiger Woods stimied behind the storied 16th green at Augusta National in the final round of the 2005 Masters, he executed one of the most amazing shots in the history of the game, which led to one of the best calls ever. The ball was chipped to the top of the slope and as the ball curled around and started its descent down the hill there was a small but apparent buzz in the crowd. As the ball got closer and closer to hole the buzz grew more and more. The ball came to rest for a split second just short of the hole before finally rolling over and disappearing the Nike Swoosh to the bottom of the cup. The crowd exploded and wrapped up in the pageantry of the moment Lundquist exclaimed something as good as his, “Yessir” in the 1986 Masters. He started with a classic Verne, “Oh Wow!” And then uttered one of my favorite lines of all time when he yelled, “In your life, have you seen anything like that!” The moment was slightly ruined by the uncoordination of caddie Steve Williams failure to execute a simple high five. What a douchebag.


1. Gus Johnson – I love Gus, plain and simple. He is without a doubt the most enthusiastic most entertaining announcer in sports. Although he has had great moments in NFL football he is best known for his work in College Basketball. His first year at CBS in his first NCAA Tournament he called Princetons upset of defending National Champion UCLA, a little foreshadowing I would say. I could describe Gus’ calls for pages and pages, but I’ll just mention a few of my favorites: “Slipper stillllll fits!” “Lewis, he’s been awesommme!” “And we’re going to overtime…Innn Lexington…Haha.” “Sylvesterrrrrr, OHHHHHH” “Sorrentine hit that one from the parking lot!” “He banked in a three!” “Larry Bird…Maybe.”


Gus’ best call came in the Sweet 16 of the West Region at “The Pond” in Anaheim in the 2006 NCAA Tournament. Gonzaga led UCLA by 17 points in the late first half, only to let the lead deteriorate in the second half. And with 19 seconds left in a one point game, television gold was struck. The energy and intensity of Gus was so prevalent, that it rubbed off on the usually stoic Len Elmore. There is absolutely no way of capturing the essence in words but here are my fovorite quotes from this epic moment. “And a steal! Farmar! Inside! The freshmannnn…up OHHHH! And they go in front! Ravio, last chance to dance!” “Oh, what a game! What-A-Game! UCLA!” (all with Len repeating ‘Unbelievable’ and finishing with, ‘Are you kidding me!?!’) “After being down by 17…Heart, Break, City! 2.6 to go UCLA has climbed the mountain!” (with a classic Len ‘Holy Mackerel’) “(Interrupting Len) In the front court…Batista with the Caaaaaetch! That’s it! What a comeback! UCLA defeats Gonzaga, 73-71, after being down by 17!” In a 2008 interview with Michael Smith, Gus claimed that he might have gone a little overboard with the call. I beg to differ. Forget “Do You Believe in Miricles” this was the most amazing call in the history of sports.

Hughes...Huge Loss

As a year or era comes to an end, we as a society like to reflect back on events, people, and memories made in that particular time period. I think we like to finalize things, as it makes it easier to move on to the next step. 2009 was known for a lot of things in a lot of different themes and genres; but what most people can agree on, is that within Pop Culture it was the year of influential deaths.

The real shot that got everyone talking was Michael Jackson who was a legend of his era and industry. But there were plenty others that were talked about in their own right. Ed McMahon, Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, Ted Kennedy, Marilyn Chambers, David Carradine, Bea Arthur, Billy Mays, Chris Henry, and many others who are and will be missed and certainly remembered.

But we lost another cultural genius this year in writer, director and producer John Hughes. Inevitably you have seen at least one, and I assume even more, of Hughes films in you're time. In the 80's he made his mark with films focused on teenage angst and coming of age. His films always had a comedic drama, and had a way of standing the test of time.

Just look at the characters that have spawned from Hughes brilliance. Clark W. Griswold, John Bender, Samantha Baker, Duckie, Richard Vernon, Blaine McDonnagh, Andrew Clark, Ferris Beuller, Kevin McCallister, Brian Johnson, Wyatt Donnally, Jake Ryan, Cameron Frye, Carl the Janitor, Andie Walsh, Long Duk Dong, Claire Standish, Sloan Peterson, Cousin Eddie, Allsion Reynolds, Steff (my all-time fav) among many many more.

So if you have some time over the next few days, take Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club or Weird Science or Sixteen Candles or one of the Vacation movies or even Home Alone, and place at least one in your Netflix queue so you can remember the comfort of a Hughes film. And after that you will no doubt realize that in 2009 we lost an icon in the industry of film.

"WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!"

Time Warner ugh...

These clowns have made my life difficult on more than one occasion over the years. Whether it was a faulty digital box, my DVR not working and the whole struggle with an agreement to carry the Big Ten Network in Columbus Ohio, TWC has been at the forefront of a lot of my angry F-Bombs.

And now it is no surprise that going into 2010 TWC has pissed me off again. They are in a contract dispute with Fox (aka News Corp aka Rupert Murdock) regarding the all mighty dollar. TWC does not want to pay the extra cash that Fox is requesting and in the matter of two days in the Columbus Ohio market we could wake up in the morning without Fox, F/X, Speed, Fox Soccer and Rox Reality.

Now most of those channels I could care less about, but Fox I can't live without, especially this time of year. As season premires roll out the much anticipated return of Jack Bauer is in jeopardy. If I miss 24 because some suit wants to line his pockets with more cash, then I might just do something irrational.



Good thing It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is over for the season or I would be even more angry. Time Warner just needs to sack up and do the right thing.

LPGA Pro of the Week - Week of 12/28

As we step into 2010 it is well documented that the LPGA has fallen on tough times so in order to boost a little moral amongst the ladies on tour, Jimothy will do a weekly profile on one of the tours finest.



Our first profile is 24 year old Floridian Brittany Lincicome. Brit is the defending Kraft Nabisco Champion (LPGA's first major) and 3 time winner on tour (see 2006 Match Play and 2007 Ginn Open). 2009 was Brittany's finest season as she enjoyed her first major along with a winning spot on the Solheim Cup. She was considered the bounce back player of the year as she was absolutely dreadful for her standards in 2008. She is known for her super long drives and lack of consistancy with the putter. She had the shot of the year in 09 sticking her second shot on the par 5 18th to within five feet and a tournament winning eagle. I look for big things from Brittany in 2010.

Can't Read, Can't Write, Kent State Still in the Masters

Congrats Mr. Ben Curtis. With the moratorium expired for a Masters invite from your 2003 Open Championship, you sacked up in 2009 just enough. With the final World Golf Rankings coming out this week; Curtis finished 50th, right on the line by just hundreths of a point better then Fidel capped Ryan Moore. Although I grew up just down the road from the home of the Golden Flashes I have no affiliation and actually no love for Kent State University. But it's good to see that Curtis is not just a one hit wonder and can continue his success even after exemptions begin to expire.

2010 PGA Tour Preview

This offeseason has gone from just regular yearning for Hawaii to full out anticipation to see what is going to transpire moving forward. Although the talk about Tiger will continue to dominate the early season, I’m interested to see what will happen with the actual play. The early season has never been a real active time for Tiger, so we won’t see much of a change on the West Coast swing. He usually makes his debut at Torrey Pines, which I know will not happen this year. In fact, I don’t think he will participate at all out west, including even the Accenture Match Play. If I had to guess I think Tiger will return at either the CA Championship, but probably more likely at Bay Hill.

As for the season itself, I’m telling you it’s going to be the year of…The Tiger! Again. Woods will bounce back stronger than ever and will be in contention to win the Grand Slam. Look at the courses we’re playing at and tell me you don’t agree: Augusta, Pebble Beach, St. Andrews and Whistling Straits. Tiger has dominated a Major field in the past at 3 out of the 4 venues. So I’m telling you, if it’s possible, this could be the year for redemption.

Here are my champion picks for the main 2010 tournaments:

Accenture Match Play – Rory McIlroy. This up and coming, in my opinion within five years, world number two will make his first big splash in the States in 2010. He plays with no fear and has the game that suits match play. I love his chances to conquer the 64 man Tigerless field.

CA Championship – Sean O’Hair. He seems like the perfect candidate to tame the Blue Monster. He has had success in the past in the State of Florida. And If my anticipation is right that Tiger will sit this one out, he has the skills to win a big time tournament.

The Masters – Tiger Woods. In his first big appearance on the main stage Tiger will do what Tiger does, namely win championships. He loves Augusta almost as much as I do, and I know redemption will taste sweet when ‘El Pato’ helps him into his 5th green jacket.

The Players Championship – Camilo Villegas. Probably one of the most recognizable young players on the Tour. He has a way about him that makes him easy to like. He has won the Tour Championship in 08, and if he can win at Sawgrass, it will no doubt eclipse that victory.

U.S. Open – Paul Casey. This guy finally got a win in the States in 09 in Houston, and will build on that stong with a major in 2010. He’s got the game to win and I know a lot of people, including his coach Peter Kostis, are waiting for him to put it together. I think this will be the year he gets it.

The Open Championship – Tiger Woods. A second major for Tiger and the contraversy will begin to slow down. You can basically count The Old Course at St. Andrews in the mix as one of his bitches. If there is one major championship combination that is almost a lock, it is Tiger at St. Andrews.

Bridgestone Invitational – Phil Mickelson. I know I know this tournament is Tiger’s to lose, and he will this year. It’s tough to go a whole season without a big win from ‘Lefty’ so I dreamed up a tournament that most wouldn’t pick him to win and…voila there’s your Firestone champion.

PGA Championship – Henrik Stensen. This docile Swede has the game, length, mentality and caddie to win the big one. This defending champion of the 5th major will cap a great year for foreign born players with his first major win. He’s due and Whistling Straits is a great track for his game.

Tour Championship – Stewart Cink. My prediction is that Cink will Twitter his way thru most of the season with high finishes and multiple wins. In the year’s final event he seems like a solid candidate to take home the crown. I see another very solid year for Stewie.

Fedex Cup – Tiger Woods. Two majors and at least 4 other victories will be enough for Woods to take home the Fedex Cup. I’m predicting other wins at Bay Hill, Memorial, Deutsche Bank and BMW. The last two wins will all but lock up the season long race for Tiger.

Ryder Cup – Europe. It pains me to say as the competition moves to Celtic Manor in South Wales, so will the Cup. Westwood Stensen, Garcia, Casey, Fisher, Kaymer, McIlroy, Poulter, Harrington, Karlsson, The Hansen clan and so on. The Euros love the format and layout of British golf and this year will recapture the Cup.

Individual Awards:

Player of the Year: Tiger Woods – See Masters, Open Championship and Fedex Cup. Others to contend: Phil Mickelson, Geoff Ogilvy and Anthony Kim.

Rookie of the Year: Blake Adams – 3rd in money on the 2009 Nationwide Tour he is the eldest of the 2010 Tour rookie class. Although he didn’t capture a win a year ago I like his consistancy throughout the season last year. Three others to watch: Cameron Tringale, Derek Lamely and Ricky Fowler.

Comeback Player – Adam Scott. Something tells me this previous world top 5 will be back in the mix in some capacity in 2010. I think he has at least one win in his back pocket and who knows maybe more than that. Look for his recent hard work to pay off. Others to watch: Chris Dimarco, Scott McCarron, or Luke Donald.

Falling Star – I think age will finally start to catch up with Kenny Perry in 2010. I have no real reasoning for this accusation, but I just think it’s that time in his career to pump the brakes. I predict no wins and a fall out of the Top 30 in earnings for this top player. Others to watch: Steve Stricker, Jim Furyk, or Padraig Harrington.

The Next Big Step – Hunter Mahan. Although I did not pick Mahan to win a major this season he is more than capable. I think he has the game, attitude and mentality to make some serious noise in 2010. I predict him as a multiple winner and top 5 in Fedex Cup points. Others to watch: Anthony Kim, Nick Watney and Ryan Moore.

‘Drea’MTV - RW/RR All Star Challenge

As you can tell I watch a lot of TV and have an abundance of free time; with those two things being synonymous with one another, it is no real surprise that I have a bevy of favorite shows. I love 24, Lost, It’s Always Sunny, Kitchen Nightmares, Heroes, Greek, Chuck, The Office, and even Private Practice (it’s one of my vices – that’s all I’m gonna say). But out of all of those shows none match up to the intrigue and drama of the Real World / Road Rules Challenge franchise. Whether it’s the Duel, Gauntlet, Inferno, Ruins, Fresh Meat, Battle of the Sexes, or even the Island, this show is amazing in any format.

I’m pretty well versed in the history of the Challenge not to mention The Real World. I remember some of the greatest moments in the history of reality TV (before Jersey Shore came along) happening right there in whatever random destination paradise. Ahh, the moments I remember. I remember the men’s upset of the women in the ‘Cast a Spell’ challenge down a man and down a letter after Steven bitch-slapped Shane on the Battle of the Sexes 2. I remember CT’s heart rate dropping below 60 as his partner Tonya went ape-shit on the ‘Heart Rate Bungee’ challenge on the Inferno 2. And of course I remember when Kenny, Johnny and Derrick sold Paula down the river and opted for Ev in the final challenge on the Island. There are a million and one other stories, but I won’t get into any of those.

Throughout the history of the show there have been too many amazing challenges, competitors (both men and women) and prizes. And with that thought in mind I started to try and think of who and what a RW/RR Challenge All-Star Season would consist of. I know it brings a smile to my face every time I even think about it. First off I would think it would have to be setup in the format of like a Gauntlet or an Inferno. Two teams, a challenge, some sort of voting process, and then an elimination. That is a go-no-wrong time honored dynamic. Also, I would have to suggest that the payout eclipse seven figures. But even those were the boring parts of the whole plan. The exciting part…formulating the cast.

For all of you Challenge-alolics out there, you may find some exceptions here and there to my allustrious cast of bros and hoes. But I think all and all the 32 competitors I eventually narrowed it down to, would create the overall best TV experience. As I said earlier, I decided to keep it pretty traditional with a Gauntlet / Inferno format, which would result in dividing the competitors into two even matched teams consisting of eight men and eight women: Blue and Red. I don’t want any theme to it (ie vertrens v. rookies, or good guys v. bad guys), because I feel that a theme like that could stand in the way of the best possible matchups. So I guess without further ado I will unvail my RW/RR All-Star Challenge competitors.


Blue Team Men:

Evan (Fresh Meat) – Evan is known as the Alphadog in recent challenge history. He has compeated in 5 challenges and has won his last two. He is a born leader and maybe the most balanced competitor of brains and brawn.

The Miz (RW Back to NY) – The Miz has been one of the most contraversial men in RW/RR history. A two time challenge champion, he has recently been a superstar in the WWE. I think it’s about his time to step his game back up.

Abe (RR South Pacific) – Abe may in fact be the most insane men in the history of the challenge. He too is a two time winner but has been there a few times near the end without cashing in. He has competed in 6 challenge seasons and 2 RR season.

Wes (RW Austin) – Wes is one of the most difficult people for teammates to get along with. He is brash and at times cocky and has rocked the boat with almost every person. But he can be a one man show at times and showed it in Fresh Meat and the Ruins.

Kenny (Fresh Meat) – Kenny and Evan must be on the same team, that should be a mandatory rule. He may be as cocky and arrogant as any competitor in the game, but this two time winner has backed it up, holding Evan’s hand along the way.

Theo (RR Max. Velocity Tour) – Theo has not competed since Fresh Meat, which means this also two time winner is well rested. He has only competed in four total challenges but his is batting .500 and has always been in contention.

Eric (RW New York) – Eric is the old codger on the blue team. As a man who was on the very first Real World, you know he’s been around. Although he officially retired from challenges after Battle of the Sexes 2, I’m sure he’ll make time for a hefty payout.

Johnny (RW Key West) – Johnny Bananas is the final piece to a team with Evan and Kenny. They are like the dysfunctional three musketeers. Johnny is one of the hottest players coming off of two straight victories, but has also had a hard time playing nice with teammates.


Blue Team Women:

Rachel (RR Campus Crawl) – Rachel is six time competitor and two time winner. She is seen in most circles as one of the most complete players on the womans side of the draw. She is that great combo of smart and tough.

Ruthie (RW Hawaii) – Ruthie may be the scrappiest player in the game. This one time drunkard brings a boat load of experience, fight, and agility to the game. Althought she’s never been a challenge champion she is still seen as one of the toughest chicks.

Kelly Anne (RW Sydney) – Kelley Anne is strong, tough and a lot crazy. But you’d have to be to voluntarily date Wes. I figure I’d put her on a team with her beau so that the integrity of the game is not sacrificed by throwing challenges.

Aviv (Fresh Meat) – Aviv has the best all time winning percentage amongst challenge contestants at 100%, although she’s only one for one. She was extremely successful the first time around and needs to be brought back to prove she isn’t a fluke.

Tonya (RW Chicago) – Tonya in my opinion is the most crazy female in the history of the show. She has won one challenge, but has been marred in contraversey almost every other time she’s been there…she’s an entertainment no-brainer.

Beth (RW Los Angeles) – Beth is the Grandmother of the challenge, that is if you’re grandmother is a sneaky conniving weasel. Although she has made seven appearances over the seasons, she has never won and many times has been self-sabbataged / martyred.

Kina (RR Extreme) – Kina is a tough athletic girl who captained her way to a victory on the Gauntlet 2. She is one of those girls who have that mix of smarts and competitive juice. She is a one time winner of the challenge.

Sarah (RW Brooklyn) – Sarah is one of my wild cards. In her first challenge she made it thru a few Ruins and almost pulled the upset of the boys with Kelly Anne. She proved she is tough, and I just had to put her on a team with Kenny.


Red Team Men:

CT (RW Paris) – CT is possibly the most polarizing figure in challenge history. Twice he has been booted for fighting and other the times he has failed to win a challenge. But there is no man who has ever been comfortable against the beast.

Landon (RW Philadelphia) – Landon is the resident nice guy, and only a two time competitor on the show. He was on a winning team in his first effort and dominated on his second before being upset. He will need to be the cool to counteract CT.

Darrell (RR Campus Crawl) – Darrell is the all-time winningest competitor in challenge history. He has competed in five challenges and has brought the crown home four times. He only loss was for fighting Brad when he was already locked in the final.

Alton (RW Las Vegas) – Alton is cool calm customer, but a beast when he needs to be. What he lacks in challenge experience he makes up for in pure power, speed, atheletism and leadership. He was the main man in his only challenge apperaence / victory.

Derrick (RR Extreme) – Derrick has participated in more challenges than any other male contenstant in the history of the show. I refer to him as pound for pound the toughest man to ever step in the challenge ring. He has three championships for his efforts.

Syrus (RW Boston) – Syrus is another one of those veterns whose been around the block. He has appeared in five seasons and has brought home one title. What he lacks in youth he more than makes up for in want-to, strength and pure mass.

Mark (RR Season 1) – Mark is the elder stateman amongst the red group of male competitors. Although he is in an uphill battle against age, he has the experience and mental know how to be a leader of the game. He is the holder of two championships.

Brad (RW San Diego) – Brad holds the unfortunate moniker of the best player to never have won the big one, and that’s not out of lack of effort. His experience in seven challenges makes him a force of will and knowledge. He just has not been able to seal the deal.


The Red Team Women:

Ev (Fresh Meat) – Ev was once referred to by Evan as his teams “9th man.” She’s been known by many as the best ever female player. This two time challenge champion is so money she has been seen as an overall number one pick in challenge fantasy leagues.

Coral (RW Back to NY) – Coral is one of the most storied chicks in challenge history. She has a competitive mean streak that is matched by no one. She has had some bad luck in winning final challenges, with only one, but will always vie for dominant female in the group.

Jodi (RR Extreme) – Jodi is another one of those competitors batting 1000. She is two for two on challenges and has put forth dominating efforts in both her victories. She is another total package consisting of strong, smart and atheletic.

Susie (RR Down Under) – Susie is the kind of girl that seems sweet and innocent, until the games begin and then she’ll play her game. She is a strong player because she combines gritty determination with down right dirty political angling and head games.

Paula (RW Key West) – Paula will always be salty from being played by the alliance on the Island. She too has done virtually everything except be a challenge champion. But she has fire and heart and most of all a hatred for men on the blue team.

Veronica (RR Semester at Sea) – Veronica and the challenge are as comfortable together as spaghetti and meatballs. She is tied with all time number of challenge appearences and three time winner. She is a crafty vetern and heated rival with both Tonya and Beth on the other team.

Jamie (RW San Diego) – Jamie is one of the most level headed competitors to ever participate in the challenge. When it comes to efficiency she is right up there at one for one as a champion. What she lacks in size she makes up for in speed and smarts.

Brittini (RR Hollywood) – Brittini is my red team wild card. Although her first and only appearance in the challenge ended in a runner up showing, she proved she was tough. But can she shake the fact that Landon was her partner? I think she can.


Lastly I need to address who the host will be. I’ve thought about Puck, Dave Mirra, Johnny Mosley and even Dan (RW Miami), but when push comes to shove I could never be more stoked then when I’m watching TJ Lavin. How can you not love when TJ tell a competitor that he/she “killied it.” Or watch how angry TJ gets when a player quits or fails to participate. There is just no way I could logically select any other host but TJ Lavin.

That’s it…the greatest competition specticle of all time. It makes the Olympics look grade school stuff. If only it could happen I could die a happy man.

At Least Somebody is Back Out of Hiatus

Laziness. That’s about the only thing I can say about why I haven’t blogged anything for quite sometime. I missed basically the last third of the PGA season, and although I kept myself aprized of what was happening amongst The Tour, I have not written a word since The Open Championship. Let me first congratulate YE Yang as a major champion and also the US for it’s domination at the Presidents Cup. Other than than that there hasn’t been much happening in the world of golf…

Well I guess there’s that whole Tiger Woods cheating on his wife with whores thing. I have neglected to write anything because although what he has allegedly done is absolutely unconscionable, Tiger is the straw that stirs the drink that is The Tour and it’s hard for me to get too negative. But this saga is getting crazier and crazier by the day. As of now the skank-o-meter is sitting in the mid-teens, chock full of hostesess, escorts and pornstars. And Tiger remains silent. No words. No admittance. No apologies.

People say, “Why would he cheat on Elin, she is so hot?” Well you’re not in his shoes. She is the mother of his children; she is his rock; she is not a skank. Although I am in no way defending anything Tiger is accused of, but when you’re a multi-multi-multi millionaire and you’re on the road and want sex, you’re gonna find sex with the sleeziest chick you can find. His problem, he got too attached to some of them. He should screw and pay, like every other self-respecting millionaire.

His other real problem, he’s a ‘blerd’ and there is no way he even saw a titty let alone get down to the nasty before he made a first few million. Nothing against Tiger, he’s now a cool dude, but that’s what money and fame can do for you. But growing up all he did was practice golf, play in tournaments around the country and hang out with his parents. Not exactly what normal high-schoolers are doing. And then he went to Stanford to play golf. College is college but Stanford isn’t exactly Faber College when it comes to sex and partying. But as I said, after you make the cash, the sluts will find you.

Things to come soon: I will be previewing the 2010 PGA season soon as we are just a couple of weeks from teeing it up in Hawaii. Although Mr. Woods is taking an indefinite break it will not affect The Tour’s early season as Tiger rarely plays until Torrey Pines anyway. Also be on the lookout for other sports and pop culture blogs in the near future, including current events and even one on the culturally explosive MTV show Jersey Shore, and I will do my best to keep up. But if the sluts come a calling, I may go into hiding too!

‘Open’ Arms

32 years after the famed ‘Duel in the Sun’ Tom Watson teed it up again at the famed Ailsa Course at Turnberry, on the western coast of Scotland. It was the 138th edition of ‘The Open Championship.’ By the way sometime in my lifetime the British Open became The Open Championship; I don’t know when or why this occurred but it just did. But anyway, at age 59 this was supposed to be Watson’s swansong eve leading up to 2010 and St. Andrews, as his 60 birthday would mark the end of his Open playing days. Instead it became almost a brand new beginning.

Although it all started on Thursday with a Watson 65, the whole story really came together on Friday when the world #1 Tiger Wood inexplicably missed the cut for only the 2nd time in a major as a pro. His +5 thru two rounds ‘opened’ up the tournament for everyone who made it to the weekend. Without the threat of Tiger prowling, Watson teed it up tied for the lead on Saturday afternoon. Although it was a cute story that Rick Reilly could cover in sap and eat up, most onlookers pretty much expected Watson to fall by the wayside on the weekend, but the stubborn old codger had other ideas.

When he rolled in a 35ft bomb on the 16th and followed it up with a two putt birdie on the easy 17th, Watson once again slept on an overnight lead in search of his record tying 6th Claret Jug. And like the old lighthouse that sits aside the start of the inward nine, Watson was a beacon of light that ushered in the Tiger generation toward the glory days of golfing past. But could he hold on? Could he fulfill the impossible by becoming the oldest man to ever win a major? Even Greg Norman at a youthful 53, could not hold keep his grip on the very same championship a year earlier at Royal Birkdale. But on Sunday, as the back nine approached, it seemed like destiny was caddying for Watson.

As others stepped-up to take the lead on Tommy, fate would smack them down. Ross Fisher got it to five under and a two shot lead, but a snowman attack ruined his party. Lee Westwood was there all day, but 3 costly bogies coming in spoiled his week in Scotland. Youngster Chris Wood charged from behind, but a nuked 9-iron over the green on 18 that led to a bogey and a 67, not quite enough. Despite a pretty awesome looking beard, Matthew Goggin blew up on the middle of his back nine, right before Watson’s eyes. And tour veteran Stewart Cink missed a bevy of shorter putts coming in, but was able to drill a 15 footer on the 18th to post a clubhouse low two under 278. He was one back of Tommy as Watson bashed a drive right down the gut on the 18th.

That’s all the story I will tell, because I just can’t finish it. Just know that around an hour later and four playoff holes, Cink stood on the 18th green with his wife and two boys (who crazy enough all have the same haircut – I’m sure the boys see their future when they look at their balding Pop) hoisting the historic Claret Jug. And as the special week at Turnberry concluded and the new Cink Suite in the large imposing hotel was named, it was a very gratifying day for one of the tour’s ‘good guys’ who had been so close in major’s past. But it was also, I’m sure, a very difficult one.

As the sun set over western Scotland and the Firth of Clyde and the mighty Irish Sea on Sunday, there was a sense of disappointment amongst the local gatherers. You could stare out in amazement at Ailsa Craig, and still not be able to comprehend what almost happened, and at the same time not comprehend how it didn’t happen. A major legend almost did the unthinkable, over a quarter of a century after he did it last. And as we close another chapter at the world’s oldest golf event, we should all reflect back and not think what could have happened or what might have been; and instead just appreciate what we all witnessed. And when Tommy tees it up next year at The Old Course at St. Andrews and makes that memorable walk across the Swilken Burn Bridge; please stand up, applaud, and welcome him into grand exile with ‘open’ arms – with nothing to hide, believe what I say…wait that's Steve Perry.

Anyway, congrats to Stewart Cink for doing what you had to do. It wasn’t easy and it’s been a long time coming from the 18th green at Southern Hills, but the pressure's off…you’re a major champion, and there's a spot saved for you on Magnolia Lane next spring.

***On a side note, also a congrats to Bo Van Pelt on a win in Milwaukee…it may be a second rate event, and you may be a second rate Van Pelt in the eyes of casual fans (Scotty!!!), but you took it to ‘em!

‘Deere’ Steve

We know our tounament is not one of the most prestigious events on the tour schedule, but we’ve been around for quite sometime and we deserve a high caliber champion and not one of those ‘stars’ that play every week ala Vijay Singh or Kenny Perry. We know our place, we’ll never be better then the travel week before ‘The Open Championship’; but we are a humble group, as unassuming as our beginnings when we were known only as the Quad Cities Open. Even when the late Ed McMahon (RIP, guy) was the host and namesake of the event, we all still stick to our Midwestern values and morals that make our event comfortatble and unique.

Speaking of the Midwest and unassuming values, isn’t that you? If memory serves me correct, you are a Wisconsinite growing up in the heart of Big 10 Country. You are a Fighting Illini alum and carry the heart of Illinois with you everywhere you go. And c’mon, our venue is located in the State in which your received your higher education – and its located in the non-Chicagoland hustle, between the two small metros that make up half of the ‘Quad Cities’, the beautiful Moline and Rock Island.

Zach Johnson may tell you that we said the same thing to him about the towns of Davenport and Bettendorf, but that’s just Iowa and we don’t care about them nearly as much! Seriously we don’t! We ain’t Maytag. Anyway, we know you are not a major champion, even though you have had your chances; but we feel you are a perfect world top ten candidate for our event, compared to the others. And let us tell you why:

1. Tiger Woods – he would never play in our event, and we have accepted that.
2. Phil Mickelson – he’s got way to much on his plate, he’s not even play in the Open.
3. Paul Casey – he’s way to Euro…enough said.
4. Kenny Perry – he’s the kind of guy who makse a killing off of events like ours; we need a change.
5. Sergio Garcia – he’s even more Euro…enough said again!
6. Geoff Ogilvy – He ‘comes from a land down under; where women glow and men plunder.’
7. Henrik Stensen – are you serious with all these Euros???
8. Steve Stricker – he’s not brash, he doesn’t wear neon pants, he’s a midwest guy, he’s just right!
9. Jim Furyk – he was an interesting candidate, but we, like everyone else hate Steeler fans.
10. Vijay Singh – does this guy ever take a break? C’mon, take a vacation bro!

Anyway, please take us up on our invitation. Not to sound desperate, but we need some good publicity from a top rated player. And since you commited to play in the tourny, why would you not want to win it? We know its almost better to miss the cut and catch an earlier flight across the pond for the Open, but we’re not chopped liver, and there is quite a bit of money to be made. We know, we know, you’re already in the field at Augusta based on you win at Hogan’s Alley, but how about moving up a couple of slots in the Fedex Cup standings? Just think about it, we’ll make it worth you while.

Eternally grateful,



The John Deere Classic Tournament Committee

Tiger’s World, Delivered

How can anyone hate the World’s #1? Sure he dominates almost every tournament he enters; he is one of the wealthiest athletes of all time; he chases history everytime he tees it up; and he has a Swedish blonde bombshell of a wife. Wow, I guess I can hate him! Okay, hate is a strong word; but I can definatly be envious of Eldrick. And after capturing his 68th PGA Tour victory at his own event, the AT&T National at Congressional, everyone was envious.

The AT&T National was dreamt up by Team Tiger 3 years ago, as he conjured up a way to personify himself with a single event. Just like all the greats: Jack (Memorial), Arnie (Bay Hill), Hogan (Colonial), Nelson (HP Nelson) – Tiger has put himself himself the same shoes as these legends as a tournament host. But the AT&T National is not all about “the striped one” (kudos to Jim Rome); it’s very special because it is held in the burbs outside our nation’s capital, and honors the men and women service people that protect our country both at home and abroad. And it all happens on the weekend of our nation’s birthday!

Along with all of the pressures and time that come with playing in a PGA tournament, Tiger had the additional time constraints of coordinating, glad-handing and keeping a smile for the media. To me it sounds down right miserable! But not only was Tiger up to the challenge, but exceeded it as only he can do. He consistantly performed throughout the week with his only real obsticles being Anthony Kim’s first round course record, a red hot Sunday Hunter Mahan, and the par four 11th hole at Congressional’s Blue Course.

Let me start with my boy AK. Damn, this kid can play. He fired a course record 62 on Thursday, but could not continue his hot play the rest of the week, finishing only one under in his last 54 holes. And then there was fellow Ryder Cupper Hunter Mahan. He matched AK’s 62 except he did it at money-time; the final round. Teeing off almost two hours before the final pairing of Woods and Kim, Mahan desimated the Blue Course, igniting cheers throughout the rolling hills of Maryland.

And then there’s the lilly-padded 11th hole. I never saw anything take Tiger to his knees quite like this 489 yard hole converted to a par four from a member’s par five. In four rounds he compiled a massive pile of strokes, which left him at six-over on this hole alone! Tiger better be careful at the 2011 US Open, as the 11th will sneak up and bite him again! But I should know that we’re talking about Tiger here, I’m almost positive he’ll be singing his redemption song, entitled #11, in the Open. I’m willing to bet on that!

Despite all the host distractions and roadblocks in his way, Woods was still able to leave his own event victorious. And it was really to no one’s surprise, he is the world’s number and arguably the greatest player in the history of the sport. Here's a quick 09 wrap-up for Tiger so far in only 9 events: 3 wins, 8 top 10’s, 9 top 25’s, 1st in money, and 1st in the Fedex Cup race. Umm, not too bad, but I’m sure he’s not totally pleased as there are no majors mixed in there.

Either way, congrats to Tiger on another victory, once again his 68th. And as for his game and event hosting, in the words of the title sponsor, he ‘delivered’!

A ‘Perr’ of 09 Wins

In the event following the US Open there is usually not a tremendously strong field, that might be why Kenny Perry was able to capture another win! I know I know it seems like an underhanded blast at one of the tours nicest players (and something I am not really know for), but I swear every time I seem to tune into a tournament my roommate has never heard of, Perry seems to be at the top of the leaderboard. Nonetheless, this victory was Perry’s 2nd of the season and 5th in just over a year!

Earlier this year on Super Bowl Sunday amongst the beer drinking party animals at the FBR Open, Perry was able to outlast the flowing mullet of one Charley Hoffman in three playoff holes. Couple that win with the 2008 John Deere Classic (another one my roommate never heard of) and the Buick Open (and because it’s played near Detroit my roommate won’t recognize) he hasn’t exactly won amongst the who’s who of PGA touring pros. But I will of course tip the cap for his outstanding effort at Jack’s place (Muirfield Village) in 2008 as he brought home the Memorial crown, albeit without Tiger in the field.

But let’s give credit where credit is due. Perry isn’t exactly a child out there. At 48 years of age he has come on very strong at the end of his career to not only stay with the kids, but beat up on the kids. He and Vijay are the old timers out there and look at the resumes between the two in 2008: 6 wins, 1 Fedex Cup and 1 Ryder Cup. Not to bad for the geriatric ward right? But that’s just not enough to convince my roommate that either one are worth a damn.

I really think the thing that really did Perry in with my roommates opinion was his choice to skip two majors (US Open and Open Championship) along with not being in the field at Augusta, in order to help his chances at making the Ryder Cup team in his home state of Kentucky. I don’t know what my roommate hated more his lack of guts or the fact he’s from Kentucky (the reason why he hates JB Holmes); either way it was not seen as good in his eyes. But what does he know right? He lives with me for one, and for the other, Perry was able to secure his slot at Valhalla. Hmm, maybe not so dumb.

The one thing I usually do in these little write-ups is congratulate the winner of said tournament for his entry into the 2010 Masters. Well, just like in many other cases, I don’t have to do that here either. Perry has already punched his ticket to the ‘Tradition Unlike Any Other’ with his T2 performance in the 2009 Masters. T2 is good right? Well of course it is, especially when you lose in a playoff right? Well try telling a very emotional Kenny Perry that following his two-hole playoff with champ Angel Cabrera and Texan Chad Campbell.

Although many times a winner on tour, Perry has yet to win a coveted major. Never really too close in his career he stood on the 71st tee two shots up before faltering with bogies on the two finishing holes! With major chance getting fewer and fewer (especially when you sit them out), I’m sure it was a crippling feeling to a veteran of his caliber. I will say to his credit he has kept his head up and is ready to throw his hat into the ring again…by this I mean defending at the John Deere in two weeks! Anyway, congrats on another win in 2009 Kenny, the Champions are calling you soon.

Major Rain ‘Glove’s

As the 2009 US Open approached most people were very interested in how some of the changes made to the fabled Bethpage Black Course would affect the players. What was unforeseen was whether the weather would dominate the Black Course. With all the focus coming into the week on Tiger Woods pursuit of Major #15 and Phil Mickelson’s endless focus on winning an Open in front of a raucous Long Island crowd that could even carry him thru the week; what flew under the radar was a long shot champ and an epic story. Although the two favorites never really went away in the final round, it wasn’t your normal Monday finish at a US Open.

The real story of the week was the rain that suspended play for almost the entire first round of the championship and what will be seen for a lot of people as the luck of the draw. The players that were in the Thursday morning and Friday afternoon draw, i.e. Tiger Woods, were subject to awful conditions for both of their first and second rounds, while the other wave, i.e. Phil Mickelson, enjoyed a sunny soggy Bethpage to fire darts at! When the cut was finally made on Saturday afternoon a very unanticipated twosome from the second wave were paired in the final grouping – once a winner on tour Lucas Glover and former US Amateur Champion Ricky Barnes.

As the pairing made their way thru the hills of the Long Island New York State Park on Sunday (the tournaments 3rd round), it seemed to be a two horse race between Barnes and Glover. Although at one point in time Ricky had gotten it to a scorching 11-under par, but a few loose swings and a short miss on the 18th green lead to his matching of Glover’s even par 70 and still only a one shot lead. Mickelson was still within eyeshot at six shots back while Tiger was still a thought in people’s minds back eight shots of two inexperienced front runners.

Although many felt as if Barnes and Glover were stories enough, there was a lurking story that began to intrigue the New York gallery. One time World’s #1 and current 800+ ranked David Duval was in contention. Although robotic and almost standoffish when he was in his prime, this new look less fit more acknowledging Duval really started to win the crowd over as he entered the final round only five shots back of Barnes. Duval had cashed in one major in his prime, an Open Championship at Royal Lytham St. Anne’s, but an opportunity to cash in again so unexpectedly years and injuries later (i.e. back, wrist, vertigo), got the crowd even more excited.

As the final round began and Barnes began to hemorrhage shots early and often, the leaderboard started to become crowded. Glover, Barnes, Lefty, Duval, Mahan, Fisher and even Tiger were all still in the picture. Woods posted an early even par 280, but most knew it would be a few short. As the rest carved their way thru the back nine there was an unmistakable roar from the 13th green! Yes, just as the New Yorkers hoped Phil stuck a shot onto the par 5 green in two and sunk the subsequent 8 footer for eagle to tie him with Glover at the time for the lead. But as Lefty tends to do he was not able to take advantage 14or 18 and mixed in a bogeys at 15 and 17 to falter.

After a rather blah day, Duval also made some noise on the inward nine birdying 14, 15 and 16 to get himself at one point in a tie for the lead with Glover at 3-under par. But a fatal lip-out on the 17th green and a birdie by Glover on the 16th lead to a quick two shot swing between those two and Barnes. Duval posted a -2 278 after paring the 18th. Barnes burned the edge on a 15ft birdie putt and Glover was able to sink a less pressure packed five foot roller to secure his first major title.

And after a tumultuous week of weather delays and no sleep, the native South Carolinian Glover stood upon that overcast afternoon on the 18th green at Bethpage Black holding up the trophy to his national championship. He is now a major winner – and as for that newly granted invite to Augusta…

Let’s just say it fits like a “Glove!”

‘Don We Now Our…

...Gay Apparel’ – I never in my right mind though that I would blog about Brian Gay twice in the matter of two millennia, let alone two months. But here I am, after his impressive victory at the St. Jude Classic blogging about Brian Gay – again! As mentioned after his ever-impressive victory at the Verizon Heritage (*see 10 Shot Rule) Gay has a flamboyant way about his appearance, but not necessarily his game. Compared to the shades of orange, pink and purple (the metro in me would say: apricot, magenta, and lavender) his swing and putting stroke are about as flashy as famed Ferris Bueller teacher Mr. Ben Stein.

Now this is not at all a rip on Gay’s game; he’s made it perfectly clear that he more than belongs on the Tour, but more of a description of his how he plays the game. Although Gay has not been the most consistent of performers in the 2009 season, when he’s shined thru, he has done it with confidence and pure utter blandness. He is a fairways and greens guy!

After entering the final round with an already sizable lead he put together another spot on round of 66 to clinch up the title – the only down note being that he won by only half the margin of his victory at Harbourtown. But that was five strokes which showed how dominating he really was back in mid-March. And although it has taken this former Gator All American quite some time to get into the groove of the PGA Tour, in 2009 he has more then secured himself as a force to be reckoned with!

I guess it’s true what they say (who are they and why is their opinion so important? Just something I’ve always wondered) about success breeding success, as Gay is a perfect example of that saying. As the middle of the year draws to a conclusion and we approach the 2nd major, Gay has put himself where he needs to be entering the stretch run toward the playoffs and the race for the Fedex Cup – in the top five! I can’t say whether or not he will be in contention at Bethpage this upcoming week, but what I’m fairly confident about are his chance of being their near the end as we wander toward Eastlake North.

With his 2nd win in 2009 Gay has joined Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Zach Johnson as two time winners this season. And for those of you who can’t keep count that’s seven Green Jackets! Although Gay has already punched his ticket for Augusta with his win in Hilton Head, I’m sure those visions of Azalea’s dancing in his head will go great with a Fedex Cup; or maybe even a President’s Cup. Either way there are a lot of players out there who will be more than happy to stand in his way.

Out of the Woods

Stat: Fairways Hit; Percentage: 87.5%; It was no doubt that accuracy was the determining factor at the 2009 Memorial Tournament held at Jack’s place, also known as the picturesque Muirfield Village Golf Club. Held less then a mile from this bloggers place of employment [yes, contrary to popular belief I do have a real job] in Dublin, Ohio, Muirfield is the Golden Bear’s crowning jewel of all of his turf creations. And once again, like so many times before at Jack’s home, Tiger seized what was his – another championship – his 4th to date.

A rainy Wednesday afternoon seemed like a perfect prelude and unmistakable foreshadowing to what was going to happen. The proud host put together a legendary skins game on the famed grounds. With a few skins still up for grabs on the 18th, Woods drained an 8 footer to halve the hole and force a chip-off for the remaining skins. After Jack stuck one within 3 feet Tiger, who always has a flair for the dramatic, sunk the chip to clinch the competition. That was only the beginning.

Tiger is Tiger – I don’t have to go into detail on his background. If you don’t know who Tiger is then you just suck at life. But anyway, if you were the most detail oriented anal-retentive dude in the world, you might point out that the weakness in Tiger’s game is accuracy off the tee, and obviously I am splitting hairs. But at Memorial ’09 Mr. Woods was as impressive off the tee as he was in ’06 in the unseasonably sweltering heat at Royal Liverpool in Hoylake. And on top of that, he actually hit a driver in Dublin – and kept it ‘out of the woods!’

Woods put on a driving clinic at Muirfield splitting the fairway 49 of 56 times, and continued to hit it with typical Tiger length. But because of atrociously bad putting he entered the final round 4 shots back of PGA Tour novices Mark Wilson and Matt Bettencourt. As Tiger lit the course on fire with birdies on Sunday the two leaders faded as quick as the roars of the Tiger crowd thru the tall oaks. As players tried to contend with the World’s #1, he smacked them all away with two of the most clutch approach shots of the year. After staking it to within 5-feet on the 71st hole he outdid himself by sticking a 7-iron from 186 yards within a foot of the cup on the 72nd green to seal the deal and carding a memorizing 65.

Every time I see Tiger shake the Golden Bear’s hand, to me, it seems like a passing of the torch from the great to the greatest. Although Tiger will not be able to pass Jack’s record 18 majors at the 2010 Masters, he can move ever closer to immortality. He will be seeking his 5th Green Jacket next Spring to pass legendary Arnold Palmer and move within one jacket of Nicklaus. Every time Tiger wanders up Magnolia Lane and approaches the beauty of Augusta National he is always the favorite. And as I look back on his first major win, the “win for the ages” at Augusta, I couldn’t draw up a better scene then the record breaker 19th happening at the hallowed grounds. Congrats to Tiger on your 67th Tour victory (I know he reads this).

‘Strick’ly Business

They call it ‘Hogan’s Alley.’ But on the map of Fort Worth, TX it is simply seen as Colonial Country Club; a throwback course that takes extreme precision and accuracy and tremendous putting to be successful. Its narrow fairways, subtle breaking greens, and gritty setup almost personify the club’s nicknames namesake – Ben Hogan.

If someone told me that Steve Stricker would be the champion at Colonial, I would say…’Yeah that sounds about right!” Talk about a course that sets up perfect for a player. Not to steal from Juno MacGuff, but I will by saying Colonial seems like the macaroni to Stricker’s cheese. Over the past few years Stricker has been amongst the top of the tour in fairways hit and putting stats – two things that are a must at Hogan’s Alley. I would call him a very businesslike player; nothing flashy, but consistently efficient.

Stricker is one of the most interesting stories on the PGA Tour over the past decade and a half. As the first and only two-time comeback player of the year, it is pretty evident that he has had a roller coaster career. But in the past 3 years in his second resurgence he has climbed to as high as 5th in the World Rankings and has won twice along with a slew of top 10’s. He is currently 8th in the world and has continually functioned businesslike with his optimum consistency and flawless putting stroke.

Entering Sunday at Colonial two shots back of 3rd round leader, the ever-accurate Tim Clark, Stricker fired a 2 under 68 to force a playoff with Clark and long-hitting Steve Marino. And when it mattered the more experienced Stricker prevailed in two playoff holes. Per usual the always emotional Stricker welled-up a little when discussing his victory with CBS’s on course reporter David Feherty. And who could blame him after all he’s been thru in his career.

I would not have thought his 2010 Masters status was up in the air, but it’s always safe to, in the words of John and Jeremy Ryan, ‘lock it up,’ and Strick did it in businesslike fashion. Fairways, greens and putting; these are the cornerstones of Stricker’s game and are increasingly important ingredients for success at Augusta National. I would never call Stricker a favorite to win a major, but the one thing I know is that he will make it his ‘business’ to contend, and his recent track record has been proof of that. See ya in April Steve-O.

Hear Me ‘Ror-y’, Softly

In his vertern career Rory Sabbatini has been seen as an outmatched villain amongst US golf fans. After some loose words directed toward all world superstar Tiger Woods and his beat-ability at the Wachovia Championship a few years ago, Sabbatini became the Peter McNeeley to Tiger’s Mike Tyson. A he proceeded to walk in the Hurricane’s shoes with a final round flop that gave Woods the tourny. The Monty-like treatment Sabbatini received from American golf fans for that time was definitely warranted, but just as time does to most foot in mouth comments, Rory faded back to golf-novice obscurity.

After this relative rise and fall from notoriety the South African became like a mid-summer rainstorm in the Midwest, just an occasional blip on the radar. He’s even since had a few brushes with greatness at Augusta going as high as T2 in Zach Johnson’s 2007 victory. But other than his 20th place this year at the Masters his next best finish in a major was his T26 in the 06 Open Championship – Tiger’s carnage of Royal Liverpool. These are mediocre numbers by comparison to players that are seen as in the same caliber.

Major championship struggles aside; Rory has embedded himself as a mid to high-level member of the PGA Tour. This evidence could be confirmed by his decimation of the Resort Course at TPC Four Seasons, which is home of the HP Byron Nelson Tournament. In a two shot victory Sabbitini acted more like the tournament’s namesake then the brazen youngster he was a few years ago. He finished up with class and dignity all the while embracing his young children, and clad in a pink shirt signifying his support of Amy Mickelson recent diagnosis.

This was Sabbatini’s 5th career victory on tour, and was the 2nd half of his adopted hometown sweep; to go with his 07 ‘Crowne’ at Colonial. As a resident of the Dallas / Ft. Worth area and member of the PGA Tour, he showed his maturity by expressing how much it has meant to him winning two tournaments that bear the names of two of the greatest names in the history of golf. He has come a long way from the 05 Booz Allen Classic!

For those of you golf fans in blogland who have forgotten this gem of a story; it involved Sabbatini, Ben Crane, frustration, and slow play. Crane is a notorious slow player. So slow in fact that 02 Sergio thinks it takes him awhile to pull the trigger! Anyway, Sabbatini had enough of Crane’s act as after finishing up on the 17th green he decided to tee it up on the 18th and abandon his playing partner on the 17th green! Crane finished the 17th to find Sabbatini halfway down th e 18th fairway. Another dick move! But as they would’ve said in Boston if he was a ‘Red Sauk,’ “That’s just Rory being Rory.”

Welcome to Augusta in 2010 Rory, it’s good to see you’ve grown up and shut up!

Champions Aren’t Always Bigger in Texas

Don’t let his diminutive stature and small town look fool you, Iowan Zach Johnson has big game. In the final Valero Texas Open played at the famous La Cantera Resort in the city of the Alamo, Johnson stepped up and completed a great week of ball striking. Just like the first hill of the roller coaster at Six Flags Fiesta Texas, the spectacular backdrop at La Cantera, Johnson elevated himself to the top of the Fedex Cup points following his 2nd victory of the season and his 2nd straight at this event. ***see 2009 Sony Open.

Repeating isn’t easy for anybody, but this little guy has a big heart and isn’t a stranger to the limelight. As an Augusta lifer with his 07 Green Jacket, it’s not like Johnson needed a win to get into the April field, but it just shows how much of a fighter he really is. This constant overachiever has propelled himself into one of the top players on tour. And this progress has been a steady progression.

A win in Atlanta, a Ryder Cup (granted he was on the Ryder Cup team that “participated” at the K Club in Ireland and got absolutely ran by the Euros; this stellar squad featured such standouts as Vaughn Taylor, JJ Henry, and Brett Wetterich; it has been widely regarded as the worse Ryder Cup in history, and I agree.), a Green Jacket, and a two time winner. Is the Fedex Cup next?

This champ is starting to “walk the line” of greatness; Like the Emporer of Rome he is sitting on the top rung of his specific cast system. And although this whole situation may seem as scary and surprising as an M. Night flick, Johnson has not shown any “signs” of slowing down. Okay fine…I’ve had enough of these damn puns; he also strikes an impeccable resemblance to actor Joaquin Phoenix – pre-beard.

Let me preface all of this by saying that Tiger is obviously the king of kings in the world of golf, but as of now in 09 Johnson can look stare at the man in red and say, ‘scoreboard.’ In a world of big it is good to see a little guy like Johnson take the lead in his sport. We’ve been so conditioned to accept the Lebrons and the Tigers and the Bonds and the Tomilinsons of the world that when a Calvin Borel gets his foot in the door it is that damn impressive.

Big is big, but steady is steady – and Zach knows he’s always welcome to take that stroll down Magnolia Lane!

How ‘Swede’ It Is

As the English translation of the 3rd and 4th lines of the Swedish National Anthem states, “We greet you as loveliest land upon Earth; Your shining sun, your sky, your pastures green.” In terms of American golf these lines could undoubtedly be in the description of the Stadium Course at the Tournament Players Club at Sawgrass. Maybe not pure natural beauty, but beauty nevertheless. As evening crept in amongst the mounds, man made pools, and grainy white sands on Sunday of the Players Championship, the Swedish flag was raised in celebration of the new Players Champion. – his name is Henrik Stensen.

In the short history of the PGA tour’s “5th major,” not many Sunday trips around the stadium have been as masterful as Stensen’s bogey free 6-under 66. ‘Master’ful being the operative word. DL3’s 64 amongst the heavy gales in 2003, Freddy’s 64 in 1996, and Stephen Ames dominating 67 in 2006 come to mind. But to those three’s delight (*especially Ames), neither one of those rounds included the world’s number one Tiger Woods in the final pairing of the day – Stensen’s did! *See the 2006 Accenture Match Play.

Although Stensen didn’t have to stare into the eye of the Tiger, I don’t really know if it would even have mattered. The cool, calm, and collected Swede stood stone faced over every tee-shot, iron, and putt he faced; all the while jabbering Swedish nothings into the waiting ears if famed caddie Fanny Sunessen. Fanny, might I add, is no stranger to success in the spotlight as she walked the lush rolling rolls of Augusta National with it’s eye-popping colorful azalea bursts; while looping for Nick Faldo for two of his three Green Jackets.

Although Stensen is and has been a top ten player worldwide for the past few years and a staple at all major championships; surprisingly he had yet to win a stroke play event in the US. His only American victory came at the 2007 WGC Accenture Match Play event, which consists of one of the best fields in any tournament worldwide. And on a side note: I’m usually not one to brag but yours truly has a penned in bracket from that 2007 Match Play event with Henrik Stensen’s name in the championship slot. Yes, amazingly enough, I picked the winner that year. And, yes, I can confirm…I am the man. But anyway…

Just like some the foreign born players over the past couple of years, this huge victory should propel Stensen from recognized name amongst novice American golf fans, to an actual recognized face. He will join names like Geoff Ogilvy, Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia, and Paul Casey; as non-Americans who have established themselves with wins not only worldwide, but on the American stage. And that’s where the money’s at! The Star Spangled Banner may not be as beautifully written as the Swedish National Anthem, but it is the “land of the free and home of the” bling! Congrats to Hanrik on his biggest win yet!

Please note, I have no intention of mentioning Alex Cjeka’s collapse. It was difficult to watch and would be more difficult to rehash. Like the ghosts of Van de Velde’s past, some things are just best left unmentioned!

By An ‘O’ Hair

On a spring afternoon in Charlotte, North Carolina there were no ghosts of Southern Swing’s past for tour up-and-comer Sean O’Hair. There were no dances with death on an island green, and although a Tiger was on the loose, it seemed to be more hibernating then prowling. But still it wasn’t easy.

Playing in the 2nd to last group with a two shot lead, O’Hair stood on the 72nd green with a 20 foot birdie putt. When he motored the putt 5 feet past he left himself, in Feherty’s words, “a nerve jangler.” His return putt only grazed the edge of the cup and he stood stone-faced with only a one shot lead and Lucas Glover in the 18th fairway. Although O’Hair was saved by harmless Glover par, I’m sure he had visions of 5 weeks prior on the mind.

O’Hair slept on a 5 stroke Saturday night lead over Tiger Woods but was awoken on the 72nd green with a slick curling 15 foot exclamation point from the world’s number one. It was a painful moment for a guy who has endured definite disappointment in the past. It was only 2 springs prior that O’Hair was paired in the final group with Hefty Lefty at the Players Championship and heartbreak ensued. He kerplunked two balls into the water on the famous 17th island green, which dashed any possibility of his victory in the tour’s 5th major.

For those who aren’t aware of O’Hair’s past, here’s the skinny. He was a wide-eyed 17 year old kid coming off his junior year in high school when he turned pro. A golfing prodigy as a youth, he survived junior golf without being burned out, despite the pressuring efforts of his old man. Papa O’Hair really did a number on Sean. It was a struggle for a very long time. He was on and off the game and was very hard on himself and had no sympathy from his father. O’Hair overcame a lot and now over a decade later from his turning pro, after waiting out a nerve racking Lucas Glover, he is now a 3 time PGA tour winner!

Although O’Hair punched his ticket to the 2010 Masters at the 2009 Masters by finishing in the top 16 & ties [T10], adding a win to the resume is always a positive step for a young player. Adding the fact that he won a tourney with Tiger in the field should add at least an extra scoop on his ice cream cone. Enduring tumultuous meltdowns and fiery competitor comebacks, O’Hair has still remained confident and should be a player to be reckoned with as he enters the prime of his career.

‘Bayou’ Field, Hello Augusta

Any tournament is better with Jerry Kelly in the field, right? We surveyed 100 PGA tour pros and asked them this question and emphatically they all responded with a resounding ‘yes!’ After Kelly’s one shot victory in New Orleans at the Zurich Classic, he officially got his invite to the 2010 Masters. Although this isn’t Jerry’s 1st rodeo, I think it is quite relieving for a player of Jerry’s veteran status to clinch up a win.

Known for years and years as one of the most likable players on tour, I’m sure for almost all, it’s good to see Kelly punch his ticket to Augusta. In fact, back in ’07 he was a major player in the outcome of the years first major. After being in contention all week he took a hit in the heavy Saturday winds and eventually faded on the back nine on Sunday and finished in a tie for 5th, his best ever finish at Augusta.

But Kelly has never been a guy who felt like he lost out on his chance. He’s one of those “happy to be there” kind of guys. Don’t get me wrong he’s a true competitor, what pro athlete isn’t? But he’s not an intimidator and seems to be more of a friend then an enemy on the course. He’s the kind of guy whose good for a one-liner or a punchy self-critical joke about himself. A fine mix of Woody Austin and Paul Goydos. In the 2003 “Open Championship” Kelly withdrew after the first round after firing an opening round 86, which included a septuple-bogey 11 on the first hole (septuple is ‘tuple” language for 7). When asked how he made an eleven on the first Kelly ryely responded with a grin:

“I made a thirty footer!”

Although Kelly is in the field at next year’s Masters, he shockingly declined an invite to the 2009 “Open Championship” at Royal Turnberry in Scotland. There was no disrespect in what he did, as he stated he wanted to play in his hometown event in Milwaukee, which is the tour-stop that runs opposite the “Open Championship.” Kelly has always been a Midwest family man who appreciates his roots and this critically acclaimed decision as an astonishing example of this. Or maybe that 11 was creeping back into his mind!

Anyway, congrats on the win in “Nah-lins” and welcome back to Augusta Jerry, you’re always a pleasant fixture in the field.

10 Shot Rule

Brian Gay is a mid 30-something PGA tour journeyman. Entering mid-April’s Verizon Heritage event he had one ‘semi-official’ win on tour, and had fought hard and bounced back and forth from the mini-tours to ‘the show’ since the mid-90’s. His only ‘show’ victory came at the 2008 Mayacoba Classic in sunny Mexico. FYI – this tournament runs opposite the Accenture Match play, which consists of the 64 top ranked players in the world. So needless to say, the Mayacoba field wasn’t exactly full of the Tigers, Leftys or even Camilos of the world. It was more like newly tour-carded competitors, young Champions Tour gents, and even the experienced Nationwide guys getting their shot in the show. But a wins a win I guess.

Although Gay cannot shake the grade school wisecracks and jokes about his last name or the neon pants he wears, he can break away from the moniker of being a non relevant tour winner.

It was seen as a lazy relaxing Sunday stroll in between the lob-lolly pines and their dry needles swaying in the gentle early spring costal breeze of South Carolina [how bout those adjectives! Feels like your right there doesn’t it!]. Entering the final round of the Verizon Heritage Classic Gay held a commanding 7 shot lead that, if relinquished, would’ve been the choke of the year. Instead – his birdie, eagle start propelled Gay to the biggest victory in the long standing history of the Heritage Classic. By the time he turned to the inward nine he had the same amount of holes left as the size of his lead. Is this the equivalent of stroke play dormie?

Clad in lime green pants, a trendy tight white polo, a modern visor, blonde tips and a spitfire engraved belt buckle, Gay continued his Sunday onslaught on Habourtown Golf Links…and terrible fashion. I’m sure between Gay’s gay [but sharp] lime green pants and two time defending champion Boo Weekley’s camo hats and shirts the tournament committee has been mighty frustrated with their grand champions apparel. But lets face it, these old guys and their prestigious tartan red plaid jackets aren’t exactly the sharpest dressed fellas your gonna find. Garb aside, Gay was on top of his game recording a tournament low 20 under par 264! The only resistance he met in his 72 hole ride were 2 bogeys that were as harmful to his endeavor as a season finale loss to Philly was to the #1 seeded Cleveland Cavs. He was dominant!

And now the wait begins. As a man who has as much Masters experience as me, Gay has earned his way into the “tradition unlike any others” in April of 2010. And that is the only real problem with winning the Heritage – the long year round rate wait your guarantee tee time at Augusta National. But all and all, I’m sure gay is mighty gay about it in the end.